What say you regarding teen/tween girls getting a bikini wax?

Posted by on Jul 25, 2012 in Uncategorized | 16 comments

Should young teen or tween girls wax?

Okay, help me out here. As a writer of young adult books and a mother of an almost teenager, I’m doing my level best to know and to stay on top of what is affecting teens these days.

I mean, I was a teen once. I remember many of the feelings of growing and developing and changing. These feelings are not easy to forget.

But the world is on a constant axis of change.

I read. A Lot. Magazines, books, newspapers.

And as you probably already know if you know me or have read this blog for any length of time, I am not without opinions on many things.

But I’m struggling with this one.

Good Morning America reported a couple of weeks ago about the ad you see at the top of this post. The ad offers a discount to girls 15 and under on their first waxing experience. Here’s the video:

video platform video management video solutions video player

Now, I don’t want to get too personal about young girls and stuff. But I don’t get it.

The company that ran this ad stands behind their promotion, saying that waxing offers an option to these teens and tweens as a “self-esteem booster.”

Now, while I don’t have an opinion on the actual waxing… I think teens should know how badly that’s going to hurt… and GMA hosts seemed appalled by this ad (see video above)… but don’t tell me that waxing is a boost to my child’s self-esteem. You’re not going to win me over with that argument.

But…

Part of me is thinking, the teens who are wanting a bikini waxing are not asking for a nose job for crying out loud.

The other part of me is wondering if waxing is truly necessary at this age. And what is the magic age for such a thing?

This is not something I’ve had to deal with yet in my house. Whew! (Wipes hand across forehead.) But at the same time, I’m learning to listen to my tween/almost teen about her concerns. Isn’t this what this is really about? We want to provide our young adults with good, supportive advice, keep their self-esteem  in mind, while maintaining a level of parental control over what constitutes growing up much too fast. To do all that, we have to be willing to listen to our young adults, keep well-defined boundaries, and know when to let the gray take center stage over the black and white.

But most of all, love is the key to sound self-esteem. Not giving young-adults free reign to grow up too fast and take part in what “all my friends are doing.”

So… I know the awesome readers of this blog have an opinion. To wax or not to wax, that is the question.

Is this a case of girls growing up WAY TOO FAST? Or

Is this much ado about nothing?

PinterestShare
  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=759179565 Brenda Cissell

    I don’t see the big deal.  Obviously, the company is NOT doing this to boost self-esteem – they see a way to get more (younger) customers and make more money. So, I will just ignore that issue.

    If you are going to allow your daughter to wear a bathing suit like the one pictured, as many parents in this area do then why not let them remove the hair that that suit will show?  If you don’t consider the suit too “sexy” then why would the waxing be so?

    My girls are not allowed to wear bikinis, but they do shave, or wax or use Neet – I let them choose the method.  I haven’t taken them to get it done professionally, but if they saved their money to pay for it, I would have no problem with it.  We have a lot of battles to fight in getting these girls to be good, kind, productive, Christian adults; leg hair is not one that I choose to fight.

    • http://heathersunseri.com Heather Sunseri

      “Leg hair is not one that I choose to fight.” – I think this is exactly why I just couldn’t form my opinion. I haven’t had to deal with this issue with my almost teen YET, so I was trying to put myself into the shoes of what I would say if she asked. And I, too, didn’t see this as something I would keep her from doing.

      You bring up a good point, though. Am I willing to pay for it when there are less expensive alternatives? Hmmm.

  • http://profiles.google.com/barb.riley1 Barb Riley

    Eh, I don’t think this is that big of a deal. In fact, as I watched the ABC clip I thought the reporters were making too much of it. The girl merely said she would feel better at camp… I think she just wants to be comfortable in a bathing suit around her friends and not worry about having anything (hair) embarrassing showing. I don’t think it’s an “oversexualizing” thing at all. As someone who’s had to break out the Jolene bleach early and be aware of the dreaded unibrow, I’m all for something so benign as removing hair “down there” so as to feel less self-conscious. 

    • http://heathersunseri.com Heather Sunseri

      I thought they were making way too big of a deal over it as well. I think you can present this ad in such a way that it oversexualizes young girls, or you can present it in a way that tells parents to listen to their teens. How big of a deal is this to them? Are they doing it because all their friends are doing it? Or are they self-concious wearing a bathing suit at church, 4-H, or some sports camp?

      Love the comments today!!

  • Jessica R. Patch

    It’s like sexy panties/bras and belly button rings. Uh, no one is going to see those areas and they don’t need to draw attention in those places. Not on my watch! That’s crazy! As far as my daughter goes, she wouldn’t want some stranger messing with her stuff. I’d like to keep it that way. :)  

    • http://profiles.google.com/barb.riley1 Barb Riley

      I can’t equate it to sexy panties and bras b/c even if young girls wear a one piece conservative swimsuit, the way-upper leg (“bikini”) area is still visible unless you go with shorts. And I think the reason for waxing is they don’t *want* to draw attention to those places if they have hair issues. That’s what I took away from it. My daughter definitely wouldn’t want a stranger to wax her either, but if she did, I would want to hear the reason behind the request, and decide what to do from there.

      LOL I never really thought I’d comment twice about bikini waxing! :P

  • http://www.jessicanelson.net/ Jessica Nelson

    I guess it depends if the girl wears a bikini and if there’s a “problem” down there. Some women are very hairy, are allergic to razors, etc. That might be an option, then. It’s definitely an individual thing, though I do think the bikini area is pretty private…however, girls start wearing bikinis pretty young so if she’s developing quickly and is embarrassed by something, I can see how a parent would let their daughter do that.
    But I think I’d by a home kit or something. Yuck on the stranger stuff, like Jessica P said. lol

  • http://heathersunseri.com Heather Sunseri

    Comments are making me smile today.

    “stranger messing with her stuff” ~ Jessica P.

    “‘problem’ down there” ~Jessica N.

    Barb commenting twice about bikini waxing. :)   – Barb, you can comment as many times as you like.

    Everyone is making me think. This is a serious issue to some. ;) At least @GMA thought so.

  • Jennifer Shirk

    Well, this is an interesting topic this morning. LOL!

    My kiddo isn’t to that point yet. My friend was telling me about her experience getting waxed and I have to say she scared me straight about getting one for myself. LOL I think I would do alternative methods for my daughter unless there was an issue. Plus, I’d have to see about that swimsuit she was wearing too and how skimpy it was. Lots of things to take under consideration. :)

  • Jeannie Campbell, LMFT

    I say that no one, at any time, should subject themselves to a bikini wax. Oh. My. Gosh. can you say painful? my threshold is extremely low….and that area is extremely forbidden.

  • A. L. Sonnichsen

    I feel I’m at great risk of over-sharing with this comment, so I will try to be brief. :D I am not a very hairy person, so I’ve never experienced this — *ahem* — procedure. But my husband is very hairy and so I wonder which way our daughters will lean and if we’ll have to do this sort of thing when they reach a certain age. I will not be a very good mentor for them, since the idea of this kind of freaks me out (pain and all that). Funnily enough, I heard someone who is one of the most conservative, modest people imaginable tell my mother-in-law that she does this regularly and she budgets for it and she’s determined that her daughters do it as soon as possible because she doesn’t want them to be embarrassed when swimming. I just … couldn’t contribute to that conversation.

    But anyway, I’m not answering your question. I guess if a young girl has a lot of hair and is embarrassed by it, go get the wax. Especially if they are gymnasts or ballerinas or life guards, I can see how this could be seriously embarrassing if they DON’T go through with it. Still, it’s a little odd to offer it as a promotion because it does seem a very adult and private thing to do.

    • http://heathersunseri.com Heather Sunseri

      the comments to this post have really cracked me up!

      I’ve had friends tell me that they would never give up their bikini waxes.

      I guess, in the end, I just don’t see the big deal about bikini waxes no matter the age. I think it’s up to parents to educate their children, and if this.. um… “area” is of concern to the young one, parents should take the issue seriously and together decide the best course of action.

  • http://jennym-talesfromtheredhead.blogspot.com/ Mrs Furby

    I just typed a LONG reply…gah!! C’est le poof!

    I am from a small gene pool that can only be described at “Irish-Greek-East Germans on anabolic steroids who use very thin clothing due to the exponentially thick amounts of Muppet-like outer layers”.

    I WISH my mother had begun a clandestine relationship with hot wax and ripping layers of embarrassment off me before I went to camp and swam in jeans and a hoodie.
    Okay, not a hoodie.
    But anyway.

    Women in the Middle East have been waxing for centuries.
    Some women at my local mall have not.
    Ohhhh, I see that moustache, so I KNOW you do too.

    If my daughter, who’s an eastetician, BTW, free pedis!!!
    Oops, sorry.
    If my daughter needs to wax, she’ll wax. For lo and it was told, I passeth on my genes upon her lip. Brow. Oh, and chin too.

    I HATE the 3 Little Pigs.
    Recite it in your head.  

    • http://heathersunseri.com Heather Sunseri

      I’m sorry about your reply disappearing. I so hate when that happens.

      Thanks for this very funny reply. I wonder if people who have never had such an issue are the ones who can easily frown upon youngsters waxing? Let’s face it. If you have lovely blond, fine hair, this is not usually an issue. But if you’re dark-haired, Eastern European, it’s a little more of a problem.

      This has been a fun conversation.:)

  • http://chariseolson.com/ Charise

    Waxing is a hygiene issue. It is necessary (or not). It’s like when should your child start wearing deodorant. When it’s needed. The idea that these kind of things are even connected to self esteem is a problem. Esteem should not be about pubic hair (or the lack thereof). Esteem (should) come from things like knowing you’re loved, loving, caring and cared for, honest, hardworker…

    • http://heathersunseri.com Heather Sunseri

      Amen! Very well said, Charise!! I think that’s exactly why the coverage of the issue bothered me. Telling me that this was to increase their self-esteem rubbed me the wrong way. Thanks for visiting!!